Think of people’s ego and vanity as a kind of front. When they are attacking you and you don’t know why, it is often because you have inadvertently threatened their ego, their sense of importance in the world. Whenever possible, you must work to make people feel secure about themselves. Use whatever works: subtle flattery, a gift, an unexpected promotion, an offer of alliance, a presentation of you and they as equals, a mirroring of their ideas and values. All these things will make them feel anchored in their frontal position relative to the world, lowering their defenses and making them like you. Secure and comfortable, they are now set up for persuasion. This is particularly devastating with a target whose ego is delicate.
Daily Law: When people feel secure about themselves, when you anchor the ego they front, they are disarmed and maneuverable.
The 33 Strategies of War
, Strategy 18: Expose and Attack Your Opponent’s Soft Flank—The Turning Strategy